Posted on by Lonwabo Makapela

Spring is on the way

I am finally beginning to feel warmth in the air, and I can finally walk out onto my tiny balcony in the mornings, breathe it in, express my gratitude for being here, for having the best support system, and that I get to do what I do; thank you! September is my birthday month, and I am thrilled to embrace my inner Spring girl again.

A key benefit of being back in South Africa is that I can go home to the Eastern Cape (E.C.) whenever I feel like it. You may have gathered from my previous posts that my parents are a significant source of support for me during my PhD journey and my life in general. Following the trip you took with me from Gauteng to E.C., I spent quality time at home by engaging in chats with my parents, resting, braaiing, resetting, and trust me; it was just what I needed.

The schedule on August 16th was typical of my weekday.

Mornings

I believe that my strength lies in my ability to adhere to a strict morning routine, regardless of how I feel. In the winter, I wake up at 6:00 AM, which shifts to 5:45 AM in the summer. I never press the snooze button because I sleep with my phone on the furthest table from my bed, forcing me to get up and out of bed to switch off my alarm.

I started the day with 10–15 minutes of quiet time, which I did not record, as I’ve found that the steeper the upward climb to attain my PhD, the more I lean on my faith and spirituality in addition to my loved ones. After quiet time, I prepared for my 30-40 minute workout. I always exercise while listening to SAfm to stay informed about current events in South Africa and the world. Sometimes, the news can be heavy for me, and during those moments, I switch to a podcast. My current favourite is Motivation with Brendon Burchard. After my workout, I make my bed, drink my vitamins, shower, and make a simple breakfast of oats or homemade granola with a cup of rooibos. Once ready, I either work at my desk or head to the campus library to start my work. I aim to work on campus twice a week, but I anticipate that once the weather becomes warmer, I will go more frequently.

Afternoons

Naturally, around 12:30, my body signals that it’s time for a nap, so I take a break and do things like warm up some meal prep, eat, catch up on YouTube which over the last week has included the ‘Follow Up – day in the life of a Post Graduate Researcher’ vlogs of my fellow SAYAS bloggers, and take a nap until 14:00. Preparing meals in advance is convenient because it helps me avoid thinking about what I’ll eat, and my naps usually last 40 minutes. After waking up, I have some fruit and drink another cup of rooibos, and then I continue working until around 17:00. This work block often occurs on my couch, which is easier on my back, and I continue with my workflow until I’m done or satisfied with my progress.

Evenings

In the evenings, I often engage in long video calls with my parents and other loved ones, and I prepare light snacks while trying to unwind by journaling and planning for the following day. Despite my bedtime of 21:00, I still struggle with falling asleep at night, which causes my sleep schedule to shift to any time after 23:00. I have been trying to shake off the persistent late nights since returning to South Africa from the U.S.

One of the things that I still need to restore entirely is my involvement in extracurricular activities. This is because of my upcoming trip to Nigeria. However, I am hopeful that I will incorporate one back into my schedule once I return to South Africa.

Posted on by Lonwabo Makapela

Thursday chit-chat: Remembering your ‘why’

Let’s have a chat. So, I recently had a very unexpected and disappointing experience in my PhD journey. So much so that I contemplated quitting my PhD. You thought I didn’t have moments like that? Well, you thought wrong, my friend. Though I might not go into too much detail on the specifics of this particular matter, I will give you enough to work with 🙂

Previously, I’d say there has only ever been one instance where I contemplated quitting my PhD. This was during my first year in the PhD learning programme, and to give some context, I began the PhD programme in the thick of COVID-19, where I found myself moving to Pretoria, attending seminars from my tiny studio apartment, having to get through multiple readings weekly, writing a thought paper based on the readings, and preparing for lengthy discussions within a PhD cohort of only two; life as I knew it and the PhD programme felt profoundly isolating. I felt like I was thrown into the deep end. As the year progressed, I felt myself getting stretched thinner and thinner as I had to prepare for seminars, ready for the long drawn 48hour exams (if you know, you know), and prepare my research proposal, all while I was applying to the highly competitive Fulbright programme, which comprised of a lengthy application process, having to write personal statements and motivations, preparing for interviews, prepare for exams such as TOEFL and GRE. But the questioning related to the continuation of my programme was primarily based on questioning whether I was cut out for this and whether I had the resilience to do a PhD. The imposter syndrome was jarring and relentless, but I have since realised that it is part and parcel of the PhD experience, so I will say that I have learned to keep pushing despite it.

Now, having returned from my Fulbright award in the U.S., many might assume that the last thing on my mind would be to quit my PhD. Well, Surprise!! It was indeed during my first few weeks back in South Africa that I was unexpectedly confronted with those thoughts. The feeling was much stronger than the previous time because it wasn’t due to doubting my abilities this time, but due to something I would have never expected, interpersonal conflict. Indeed, it is bold of me to think I wouldn’t experience conflict with those overseeing my research, and one might even say that it is inevitable to have interpersonal challenges during your postgraduate studies because research is, in fact, a collaboration. Still, having watched as many YouTube videos as I could at the beginning of both my master’s and PhD programmes to ensure that I maintained respectful and healthy relations with those I have the privilege of receiving assistance from, I’d say the hard reality I had to accept is that sometimes expectations do not align. Subsequently, your expectations of having good working relations may not be met, but this is not the end of the world.

This may have stung so much more because when I left for the U.S., I struggled with communicating my boundaries, particularly my capacity to do more than I could physically, mentally, and emotionally. This time, the burnout I was experiencing forced me to speak up, to say I could not put anything more on my plate than what I currently have. And while on such a mentally and emotionally taxing journey as a PhD, it is crucial to surround yourself with people who will understand that. Reminiscent of the disproportionate amount of Winter I experienced over the last 12 months, as mentioned in my previous blog, I left for the U.S. towards the end of our academic year in South Africa, lived in the U.S. all through their academic year only to return to South Africa halfway through our academic year again. To say that I am still exhausted would be an understatement.

Nonetheless, many lessons to learn while pursuing your postgrad have nothing to do with your degree. And these lessons come during different process phases. The lesson of my current stage is knowing and staying connected to why I started. Simon Sinek, author of the book ‘start with Why’ describes the ‘why’ as the purpose, belief or cause driving you, because knowing why you started helps you to remain loyal to the cause.

Here are a few tips I’ve learnt from life coach and YouTuber Brendon Buchard that have been helping me stay connected to my ‘why’.

1) Keep emotionally connected with what you want through daily visualisation. Do not only visualise the end goal but also what you would do if things don’t go according to plan; how do you regain the momentum?

2) Conduct weekly check-ins with yourself and score your performance and progress every week. This will help you align closely with your goals.

3) Get social support involved in what you are planning to achieve. Find people you trust and who are in your corner that you can fill in on what you plan to do, when you plan to achieve it and keep them posted on your progress. This will help to keep you accountable and to feel supported.

Ultimately and amongst other things, such as my closest people, it has been the SAYAS blogging community and a beautiful SAYAS blog post that helped me stay afloat and encouraged me to continue. I hope this chit-chat will inspire someone to stay connected to their ‘why’.