SAYAS BLOG

2023 is lurching to an end, and the world is once again possessed by that strange, end-of-year feeling. As we sit in the twilight of 2023, it’s near impossible not to reflect on the year we just survived, and the years we still need to weather. I can feel the weight of the year on my shoulders; I can still taste the anger and pain of the bad days; I can still grasp the warmth and joy of the good days; I’m still not totally sure if I’m using semi-colons correctly. But right now, when I sit and look back at this year, I feel proud. I feel energised, invigorated – more than I’ve felt in a hot minute (and take it from a biometeorologist, the minutes are only getting hotter each year). I don’t think this is necessarily normal, and it’s entirely possible I’ve lost my fragile mind, but if the price of happiness is insanity, I’ll pay it every time! So, indulge me, dear reader, and let me regale you with the tale of my journey through 2023…

I can still remember the day in January, when I showed my parents my first SAYAS blog. I can still remember how excited I was to see people’s reactions, to see people following me on Twitter (it’s called X now, but I’m loath to call it that), and to have a creative outlet where I could write all the weird things I want to write. Our poor editor has had her hands full trying to streamline all of my verbose nonsense, and her guidance has been of immeasurable value. Writing these blogs has been a highlight of my year, because I am without a doubt, my own biggest fan. I cannot even begin to describe how fun it was to make the vlogs! I don’t know why SAYAS let me make half the things I made, but I will be forever grateful for the opportunity.

Aside from SAYAS, this year was defined by non-stop academic triumph! And a lot of burn out and imposter syndrome, but mostly academic triumph! I don’t think I’ve told you yet, dear reader, but I recently submitted my dissertation for examination! I have spent the last few days celebrating with everyone I love most – revelling, rejoicing, basking, and, yes, even exulting a time or two. It has been a wonderful couple of days, dear reader. I started the year knee deep in data collection for my research. There is such a joy to conducting research, learning new things, and contributing to the creation of knowledge – and one of the most exciting parts of that process for me was collecting data through interviews. Starting to see patterns emerging in the data, and actually starting to form answers for the questions you’ve been asking is immensely rewarding. Taking all of the data I collected, analysing it, and pulling it all together into a cohesive argument was both challenging and electrifying. Knowing that you’re approaching the end of your dissertation – getting that much closer to the end of your degree – is a feeling like nothing else. I felt genuinely emotional when I looked at my complete dissertation, gripped by a sense of disbelief. There were so many days where I thought I was a failure, that I would never complete my degree, that I was wasting everyone’s time. Reading through my work, thinking about all the effort behind it, made me feel strong. It made me feel confident. It seems silly to have doubted myself so much, to have had such little faith in myself.

This year reminded me that I don’t suck as much as I think I do. The year reminded me that I shouldn’t give into malaise and stagnation, that it’s important to feel passionate, and excited about the things you’re doing. 2023 reminded me that I need to trust myself more, that I can be the person I want to be as long as I am willing to put in the effort. This year was a hard year. This year was a good year. I don’t know what the next year will bring, but I know I’m going to get through it. It has been a great privilege to share my writing with you, dear reader. I’m going to miss you, but I’m sure we’ll meet again… Until next time, thank you.

It’s that time of the year when things start winding down work-wise and the end-of-year fatigue starts kicking in. But for many academics, the end of the working year doesn’t mean the end of work itself. Some of us may still be busy with our research over the holiday season, but this final blog marks the end of my journey with writing with SAYAS. The time truly flew by, and there is a lot to reflect on when it comes to what I’ve learned about science communication.

A Note of Thanks 

Firstly, it’s been an honour to collaborate with some amazing fellow emerging researchers across South Africa. From Mukhtaar’s ability to craft such beautifully witty takes in his blogs (his first vlog was my favourite!) to learning about how Jo deftly applies an intersectional approach to their research and creating a newfound sisterhood with Lonwabo, interacting with the 2023 cohort has been unquantifiably wholesome. Likewise, a massive thank you to our coordinator, Jen, who has been supportive and dedicated to pushing us to write throughout this year. Her time and engaged approach to pushing our newly fortified science communication skills cannot be taken for granted. Thank you, Jen!

Mirrors and Doors

In terms of reflecting on the year, it feels pre-emptive to discern whether or not it was ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Post-2020, there has definitely been a shift in how as a collective, we process the enormity of daily life on a different scale. That there’s almost this sense of mourning for what we had planned prior to March 2020. So, to echo the sentiments of my September blog, whilst every day may look different, it brings us closer to where we need to be. That being present in how we show up in our work requires the ability to be adaptable in our self-reflexiveness. Although I am still looking forward to setting time aside to reflect on my goals and achievements, it is not lost on me that there are lessons I am still in the process of uncovering and learning from. And that is the beauty of it all. So where does that leave you, the reader, to learn more about my academic journey? I am currently in the first round of my data collection and am so excited to embed myself in fieldwork. Envisioning the end of my PhD journey seems elusive, but I am closer than I think. My journey with SAYAS has been one important piece of a puzzle that is me becoming the scholar I aspire to become; caring, kind, compassionate, principled and relentless in the pursuit of creating knowledge that centres these values. 

Final thoughts

In an interview with The Republic, South African author Mpho Matsipa was asked what the most meaningful piece of writing advice she’d ever received, to which she said the following: 

“Writing will be all that remains after the bullsh*t institutional battles are lost and/or won.”

 

Writing for the sake of profit or glory has never been the allure for most researchers. We care about what we write about because solidarity is more important than complicity. Therefore, it would be disingenuous not to bring to the forefront what is happening in Palestine as I type this. As of 21st November 2023, more than 13,300 people have been killed by attacks from Israel, with 5,500 being children and 3,500 women.

There is no freedom from all the oppression we sit and talk about without the liberation of Palestinians.

There is no freedom from oppression without the liberation of the Democratic Republic of Congo.

There is no freedom from oppression without the liberation of Haiti.

There is no freedom from oppression without the freedom of West Papua New Guinea.

There is no freedom from oppression if we remain silent while pretending our insulated sensibilities keep us safe from another person’s reality eventually becoming our own. As academics, we have the privilege to engage with the real world through an ivory tower. Because of this, we must be cognizant of how our work ties into the bigger threads of humanity so that we may never lose who we are in the face of a world on fire.