Awareness and Gratitude

My daily commute to the lab is rarely eventful, it is exactly thirty minutes from my house to my lab bench. Thirty minutes spent listening to my daily dose of Freshlyground, scrolling through my Twitter feed, and planning my day. It is a routine I am accustomed to — a routine that brings me serenity and much-needed structure. You see, structure and routine are very important to me. I have every hour of my day planned out and I know what to and when to do it. But, today’s commute was different.

As the métro began its approach to my intended stop a thought popped into my mind, and I as I slowly walked up the stairs I followed this train of thought, spurred by what I had seen on my Twitter feed. My fellow SAYAS blogger Sipokazi Nyeleka wrote an amazing piece on women in science (here). My intended blog post for this month was on the importance of mentorships in graduates school. I began to think about the numerous women whose work has directly or indirectly influenced how I do science. It was at that moment, at that precise moment when I reached the top of the stairs that I realised the hurdles women face in science, and the amount of privilege my sex and gender has awarded me.

It is from this place of understanding that I began to write this blog post. Like most things in life, the more you think, the more you know. I became aware of the damage and hurt that patriarchy has inflicted upon women and the disenfranchised. Like my fellow blogger, I want to express my boundless gratitude to those amazing scientist who inspired and continue to inspire to be a better scientist. As men, we are made to feel that every space was for us to occupy. And it is this sense of entitlement that puts many men in a position where they are unable to understand the obstacles of many women face in academia — how could we possibly understand if have never experienced it? As with other minority groups, women have always had to work harder, speaker louder to simply have their voices heard. I am fortunate enough to be in an environment that fosters mutual respect and acceptance for all — women, LBGTI, physically challenged groups etc… In closing, I wish to see academia be filled with the spirit that our country has; the Rainbow Nation. It is only through welcoming diversity into the workspace that we can truly transform the academic landscape.

 

Note to self

Dear self,

It has dawned on you that the people who say that being consistent in your work yields fruitful results are telling the truth. You have also learnt that it’s important not to lose yourself in the pursuit of what seems to be success in the eyes of other people that were created for a different purpose to yours. Defining success for yourself has freed you from the trap of comparison and living to satisfy people’s standards and expectations. For having taken the time to learn these truths, I am proud of you — especially because it is very easy to forget who you are and what you want amidst uncertainties and a ton of pressure.

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The game face that stuck it out this year

Like most goal-directed people, you started off with gusto and truckloads of determination which I must say came in very handy throughout the year. I am glad that from the onset you pushed for perfection. You had the perfect plan to execute your lab work and analysis of data, the perfect schedule for the writing of your chapters, not to mention the perfect pen to write down the perfect idea. Today, I can’t help but be proud of you because you now understand that 100% commitment does not mean 100% perfection.

By now you recognize the small moments of elation. Every accomplishment must give you reason to celebrate and be excited about the future. I don’t want your gratitude to just end on paper though; I want it to propel you to achieve more, and challenge yourself beyond what you thought were your limits. Remember that the desire to learn, the thrill of discovery, and the conviction that it’s for the greater good is what brought you to where you are right now.

I know that your journey was not at all what you had imagined it to be. No! It was funnier, more challenging, sometimes lonely, and definitely worth it.  What you should be most grateful for is that you did not give up (fist held high up in the air) – nope, you stuck it outSo self, the road ahead certainly promises an uncertain path to the desired future, but remember you can do it. Because before this you never knew you could roll with the punches like you did. Note to self: you are Awesome!!

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Happy me, after a a wonderful 11 months