Posted on by Lonwabo Makapela · 1 Comment

Reimagining the Process: Key Lessons Learned

Reflecting on my PhD journey, I am kind of amazed by the significant influence that moving across different countries has had on me. This unique experience has allowed me to hit the reset button on certain aspects of my postgraduate journey that weren’t exactly contributing to my progress and well-being. This month’s blog post focused on what I would change if I could rewind time and restart my PhD degree. In this reflective journey, I’ll be discussing various aspects, including how I’d alter my approach to managing time, handling relationships, and more. So, without further ado, let’s get to it.

Knowing When to Say No

I’ve always had a hard time saying no, particularly when it seemed most crucial for my academic progress or rest – be it lending a hand, lending an ear on lengthy phone calls, being asked to proofread or compile documents, attending functions, or socialising. I was constantly showing up as a ‘yes-girl’, and unsurprisingly, that’s exactly how people treated me. My days were filled with endless requests for favours, leaving me drained and under immense pressure to cater to everyone’s needs. However, I’ve made significant strides in setting better boundaries for myself, a resolution I made before moving to the U.S.. Although I’m still a work in progress, I can’t help but wish I had learned and implemented this valuable lesson earlier.

Keeping Flexibility in Your Routine

In previous posts, I’ve shared how my ability to adhere to a strict routine has been instrumental in my achievements, particularly during my undergraduate studies. However, moving to the U.S. and dealing with significant time differences, poor eating and sleeping habits, and reduced energy levels presented a challenge. My well-curated routine no longer served its purpose, and acknowledging its ineffectiveness was a difficult truth to accept. Despite these obstacles, I had to find ways to get my work done. This experience taught me a valuable lesson: the importance of flexibility in my routine, and the need for guilt-free rest. Sometimes, these elements are crucial for academic success.

One Good Therapy Session Isn’t Enough

Since the onset of my PhD, I’ve been attending therapy sessions, a beneficial suggestion from my sister. It’s worth noting for fellow postgrads that universities often provide counselling services at no extra cost. My therapist even transitioned to virtual sessions when I moved to the U.S., a time when I needed support the most. However, I sometimes misinterpret a successful session as a sign that I can postpone sessions until I’m overwhelmed. If I could change one thing, it would be to maintain regular therapy sessions, rather than sporadic ones, for a healthier PhD journey.

Keeping Regular Communication with Your Supervisor

As an introvert who tends to overthink, I’ve learned a valuable lesson: your supervisor can be a great ally in holding you accountable. It’s up to you to establish the rhythm of your relationship and subsequent progress. Whether that’s weekly check-ins updating them on your progress, communicating your intended submission dates, discussing delays due to your health or other reasons, actively seeking clarity on the feedback received, or sharing new ideas for your research. Regular communication is key. This approach was highly effective during my master’s degree, however, I struggled to apply this to my PhD, which somewhat delayed my progress, and though I’m currently in a much better place, it took time to understand that this was primarily my responsibility.

Letting Things Be, Sometimes

To be honest, in pursuing a PhD, you might encounter many moments where things don’t go as planned. It’s crucial to understand that it’s okay to let things be sometimes. This doesn’t mean giving up; but rather, it’s about finding alternative routes and continuing to make progress. If you don’t, uza kuphambana (you might find yourself overwhelmed). The lesson here is that it’s okay to take a step back, reassess, and move forward in a different direction.

In my recent day-in-the-life vlog, I shared that I was supposed to be in Nigeria, gathering data for my PhD. I had hoped to pen my November blog from Lagos, but due to some visa complications, that plan fell through. However, like dealing with imposter syndrome, these setbacks are part and parcel of the PhD journey. So, I picked myself up, reinitiated my visa process, and used this time to review my literature and other work. 

It’s interesting how these unexpected lessons, which I’d do differently, often teach us more about life than our PhD. So, stay tuned for my next blog post, which I plan to kick off with ‘HELLO FROM NIGERIA!’ 🙂

Posted on by MukhtaarWaja

A Student’s Guide to Cutting People Off, Dealing with Pain, and Not Shooting Yourself in the Foot

My life is like a game of Jenga – still in its early stages, but already dancing on the brink of violent collapse. Over the years, I have watched the pieces move, moved the pieces myself, and seen the tower tremble. As the game goes on, the stakes grow higher, and each decision bears more weight. For me, attending university was an exercise in growth – a move towards a life without a safety net. And there are a couple of things I’d do differently, if given the chance. It’s healthy to look back and recognise you’d change some things. It shows you’ve grown, and learnt, and you should be proud of that! People who claim to have no regrets are either lying to you, or they have terrible judgement, and I would never lie to you, dear reader! I do, however, have terrible judgement. So, let’s talk about all the things I’d do differently if I could restart my degree now…

The first thing I’d do is schedule a haircut. The second thing I’d do is find better friends. The haircut is important, but the friend issue was an oft recurring problem. If you know me, or if you look at any picture of me for more than five seconds, you’ll know I can’t say “no”. It’s such a problem. Every friend will one day ask you to sign a register for them, speak to their tutor over the phone, pretending to be their dying grandmother, or dress up as them to write their exam (and, just to be clear, I’ve not done this). It’s the campus experience (and slightly illegal)! I’m not condoning doing any of that, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t help your friends, but boundaries are important. I had friends who didn’t attend a single lecture, but who used my notes to excel in their classes. I had friends who asked me to write the entirety of their assignments – without pay (not that that matters)! I have done so many group projects – with my friends as group members – where I have done everything, and they still didn’t prepare their part of the presentation. Only one of my friends did prepare, and they didn’t use the cue cards I wrote; they badly memorised the Wikipedia page on the topic we were covering. And I didn’t say a thing.

Not one assignment passed without friends asking me to send them a copy of my work, the night before it was due. They “just want to see the structure” and, they can’t get into it, but “things have been so overwhelming”. You should be there for your friends, but that doesn’t include sending them your work to plagiarise. I cannot stress this point enough. I know students whose entire academic careers have been upended because of this. In some cases, it was someone they trusted, while other times, their friend shared their work with people they had never even met. Some people will call you selfish for standing up for yourself. When you’re insecure, and afraid of disappointing people, there’s a good chance you’ll believe them; but you deserve better, and you will find better. You’re not being selfish when you’re protecting yourself.   

Finally, I’d change the way I coped with psychological stress. My marks were never better than when my life was falling apart. During my second year of university, my friend group was collapsing, my relationship ended, and someone important to me passed away. My grades skyrocketed. If you asked me at the time, I would have said I was coping using sublimation – where you channel your painful emotions into a positive activity. Really, I was practicing repression – where you stuff your emotions deep down in yourself, then get surprised when those emotions don’t evaporate, but instead fester and metastasise. I refused to acknowledge my hurt, distracting myself with work, and I thought it was healthy because my marks were great. But the things I repressed in my second year made me spiral during my third, and final year of undergrad because I refused to face them. I’m so much better at dealing with my emotions now, at maintaining a healthy work-life balance. I am so much more secure in myself, and I’m not worried to lose people by standing up for myself. It takes a lot of time and a lot of practice, but eventually it becomes easier, eventually we grow and we learn.

You know, the fun thing about Jenga is, when the tower falls, everyone just laughs and rebuilds it. Your mistakes won’t mean the end of the world. You just have to learn from them.