Posted on by ijeomaopara

Like Sand Through the Hourglass And Other Amusing Realisations

Here we are, six months later…what has changed?  

Well… life has been a rollercoaster OF NOTE.  

The past six months have felt like three years almost, as I’ve been evolving rapidly without so much of a chance to recalibrate authentically. Academically, things have been progressing in an interesting way; I presented at two international conferences in June, and have had some of the most amazing networking opportunities within my field. The first conference I attended was the London School of Economics Media Futures Conference, where I presented parts of a working chapter. The second one was hosted by the Stellenbosch Business School on Gender, Work and Organisation, and I co-facilitated a workshop on feminist activism in the academy with my supervisor Professor Amanda Gouws. On paper, it feels like I’m doing the right things to make sure my academic career is on track, but I can’t help but feel like there is some level of stagnancy that’s preventing me from pushing myself like I normally do.  

My personal life has also been topsy-turvy, and I have been going through the motions of true grief for the first time in the 28 years of my life. The phrase ‘nothing lasts forever’ has taken on a completely different meaning, as losing people is something that is always hard to deal with. It’s also part of the reason why my vlog this month has taken on a somewhat abstract format, where I focused more on showing what the days in my life have looked like recently, as opposed to a linear, cookie-cutter ‘day in my life’.

For some reason, it felt disingenuous to set up my camera, press record and pretend to wake up and put together a routine that seemed void of flaws. My days really have felt like a case of jumping across different universes, almost like that movie Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022).To be completely honest, my ethics application has been a source of frustration since the beginning of the year, impacting my creative flow. While I understand the importance of due process and acknowledge the validity of concerns, it’s led me to question the worthiness of pursuing my research in the first place. Which really sucks.  

However, I’ve taken steps to address this. I’ve recently gained a mentor from the African Feminist Initiative at UPenn, Professor Tarez Graban. Our first session together was incredibly affirming, reigniting my belief in the value of my work. Naturally, I have the support of my supervisor and co-supervisor. Still, without a clear sense of direction in my work, it becomes difficult to communicate expectations if I am in a period of struggling with where to draw strength from. At the end of the day, this PhD will be completed. Every day that brings me closer to the finish line may not look the same, but it’s part of the bigger picture. And we’re never alone in this journey, always supported by those around us. 

Almost there.  

Posted on by Lonwabo Makapela

Spring is on the way

I am finally beginning to feel warmth in the air, and I can finally walk out onto my tiny balcony in the mornings, breathe it in, express my gratitude for being here, for having the best support system, and that I get to do what I do; thank you! September is my birthday month, and I am thrilled to embrace my inner Spring girl again.

A key benefit of being back in South Africa is that I can go home to the Eastern Cape (E.C.) whenever I feel like it. You may have gathered from my previous posts that my parents are a significant source of support for me during my PhD journey and my life in general. Following the trip you took with me from Gauteng to E.C., I spent quality time at home by engaging in chats with my parents, resting, braaiing, resetting, and trust me; it was just what I needed.

The schedule on August 16th was typical of my weekday.

Mornings

I believe that my strength lies in my ability to adhere to a strict morning routine, regardless of how I feel. In the winter, I wake up at 6:00 AM, which shifts to 5:45 AM in the summer. I never press the snooze button because I sleep with my phone on the furthest table from my bed, forcing me to get up and out of bed to switch off my alarm.

I started the day with 10–15 minutes of quiet time, which I did not record, as I’ve found that the steeper the upward climb to attain my PhD, the more I lean on my faith and spirituality in addition to my loved ones. After quiet time, I prepared for my 30-40 minute workout. I always exercise while listening to SAfm to stay informed about current events in South Africa and the world. Sometimes, the news can be heavy for me, and during those moments, I switch to a podcast. My current favourite is Motivation with Brendon Burchard. After my workout, I make my bed, drink my vitamins, shower, and make a simple breakfast of oats or homemade granola with a cup of rooibos. Once ready, I either work at my desk or head to the campus library to start my work. I aim to work on campus twice a week, but I anticipate that once the weather becomes warmer, I will go more frequently.

Afternoons

Naturally, around 12:30, my body signals that it’s time for a nap, so I take a break and do things like warm up some meal prep, eat, catch up on YouTube which over the last week has included the ‘Follow Up – day in the life of a Post Graduate Researcher’ vlogs of my fellow SAYAS bloggers, and take a nap until 14:00. Preparing meals in advance is convenient because it helps me avoid thinking about what I’ll eat, and my naps usually last 40 minutes. After waking up, I have some fruit and drink another cup of rooibos, and then I continue working until around 17:00. This work block often occurs on my couch, which is easier on my back, and I continue with my workflow until I’m done or satisfied with my progress.

Evenings

In the evenings, I often engage in long video calls with my parents and other loved ones, and I prepare light snacks while trying to unwind by journaling and planning for the following day. Despite my bedtime of 21:00, I still struggle with falling asleep at night, which causes my sleep schedule to shift to any time after 23:00. I have been trying to shake off the persistent late nights since returning to South Africa from the U.S.

One of the things that I still need to restore entirely is my involvement in extracurricular activities. This is because of my upcoming trip to Nigeria. However, I am hopeful that I will incorporate one back into my schedule once I return to South Africa.