Posted on by Lonwabo Makapela

Thursday chit-chat: Remembering your ‘why’

Let’s have a chat. So, I recently had a very unexpected and disappointing experience in my PhD journey. So much so that I contemplated quitting my PhD. You thought I didn’t have moments like that? Well, you thought wrong, my friend. Though I might not go into too much detail on the specifics of this particular matter, I will give you enough to work with 🙂

Previously, I’d say there has only ever been one instance where I contemplated quitting my PhD. This was during my first year in the PhD learning programme, and to give some context, I began the PhD programme in the thick of COVID-19, where I found myself moving to Pretoria, attending seminars from my tiny studio apartment, having to get through multiple readings weekly, writing a thought paper based on the readings, and preparing for lengthy discussions within a PhD cohort of only two; life as I knew it and the PhD programme felt profoundly isolating. I felt like I was thrown into the deep end. As the year progressed, I felt myself getting stretched thinner and thinner as I had to prepare for seminars, ready for the long drawn 48hour exams (if you know, you know), and prepare my research proposal, all while I was applying to the highly competitive Fulbright programme, which comprised of a lengthy application process, having to write personal statements and motivations, preparing for interviews, prepare for exams such as TOEFL and GRE. But the questioning related to the continuation of my programme was primarily based on questioning whether I was cut out for this and whether I had the resilience to do a PhD. The imposter syndrome was jarring and relentless, but I have since realised that it is part and parcel of the PhD experience, so I will say that I have learned to keep pushing despite it.

Now, having returned from my Fulbright award in the U.S., many might assume that the last thing on my mind would be to quit my PhD. Well, Surprise!! It was indeed during my first few weeks back in South Africa that I was unexpectedly confronted with those thoughts. The feeling was much stronger than the previous time because it wasn’t due to doubting my abilities this time, but due to something I would have never expected, interpersonal conflict. Indeed, it is bold of me to think I wouldn’t experience conflict with those overseeing my research, and one might even say that it is inevitable to have interpersonal challenges during your postgraduate studies because research is, in fact, a collaboration. Still, having watched as many YouTube videos as I could at the beginning of both my master’s and PhD programmes to ensure that I maintained respectful and healthy relations with those I have the privilege of receiving assistance from, I’d say the hard reality I had to accept is that sometimes expectations do not align. Subsequently, your expectations of having good working relations may not be met, but this is not the end of the world.

This may have stung so much more because when I left for the U.S., I struggled with communicating my boundaries, particularly my capacity to do more than I could physically, mentally, and emotionally. This time, the burnout I was experiencing forced me to speak up, to say I could not put anything more on my plate than what I currently have. And while on such a mentally and emotionally taxing journey as a PhD, it is crucial to surround yourself with people who will understand that. Reminiscent of the disproportionate amount of Winter I experienced over the last 12 months, as mentioned in my previous blog, I left for the U.S. towards the end of our academic year in South Africa, lived in the U.S. all through their academic year only to return to South Africa halfway through our academic year again. To say that I am still exhausted would be an understatement.

Nonetheless, many lessons to learn while pursuing your postgrad have nothing to do with your degree. And these lessons come during different process phases. The lesson of my current stage is knowing and staying connected to why I started. Simon Sinek, author of the book ‘start with Why’ describes the ‘why’ as the purpose, belief or cause driving you, because knowing why you started helps you to remain loyal to the cause.

Here are a few tips I’ve learnt from life coach and YouTuber Brendon Buchard that have been helping me stay connected to my ‘why’.

1) Keep emotionally connected with what you want through daily visualisation. Do not only visualise the end goal but also what you would do if things don’t go according to plan; how do you regain the momentum?

2) Conduct weekly check-ins with yourself and score your performance and progress every week. This will help you align closely with your goals.

3) Get social support involved in what you are planning to achieve. Find people you trust and who are in your corner that you can fill in on what you plan to do, when you plan to achieve it and keep them posted on your progress. This will help to keep you accountable and to feel supported.

Ultimately and amongst other things, such as my closest people, it has been the SAYAS blogging community and a beautiful SAYAS blog post that helped me stay afloat and encouraged me to continue. I hope this chit-chat will inspire someone to stay connected to their ‘why’.

Posted on by johanne_marais

“If the brain does not work, the rest does not matter” –

– Professor Alfred K. Njamnshi, founder of Brain Research Africa Initiative

During a daily email scan on some day in May, I read that my research project had been accepted for a poster presentation at a conference I had applied to. Imagine that! For specialists, early career researchers, graduate students, and established professors alike, conferences offer an opportunity to touch base with current prospects (and persons) of a particular field.

Many anticipatory weeks and several hours of design later, I made my way to the venue – printed poster proudly in hand. Being socially anxious yet outspoken and opinionated (read: awkward), I felt a little uneasy about how the week would play out. Most of this was settled when I met a Twitter™ friend, Arish. We sat in the sun, exchanging warm parcels of chit-chat some hours before the first plenary speaker, Prof. Njamnshi, officially opened the conference.

My recounting of the conference is cherished in journal pages and short-hand notes. I could probably write a Master’s thesis on my experience. Though, in the absence of 150 pages available for my storytelling, I will offer you the abstract:

Introduction: Some 30-odd years ago, in Kenya’s city of Nairobi, the Society of Neuroscientists of Africa was registered. What began as a handful of African neuroscientists coming together to amplify African neuroscientific research has now grown so vastly that nearly 300 keen delegates are affiliated members of the society. Some of these delegates from 19 African countries – and 34 countries worldwide – congregated at the 16th Biennial International Conference of the Society of Neuroscientists of Africa (SONA), held in Johannesburg in the middle of July.

Aims: According to the society’s webpage, SONA aims “to promote research, teaching and advocacy in neuroscience in Africa…”. I arrived at the conference with my own aims, though. I intended to remain humble but secure in my knowledge basis, while being receptive to learning new topics unfamiliar to me. I sought to meet and engage with as many neuroscience enthusiasts from the continent as what my social capacity would permit, to begin forming my own “neural network” for collaborations and research support.

Methodologies: An array of symposia, workshops, poster presentations and communal meals gave attendees the opportunity to ask questions, share their work, rub shoulders with giants and shake hands with mentors and friends. The theme, “The Brain in Health and Disease: From Basic to Translational and Clinical Neurosciences”, stimulated provocative and challenging conversations across the multidisciplinary niches. Notebooks embellished with SONA aesthetics sat back-to-back with a printed program in each person’s complimentary tote bag, so that they could plan their preferences over the four days.

Results: From cell culture to measuring protein expression; patient-facing clinical research to data sharing… Neurosciences are diverse and expansive! The underlying message which unified all the sessions was the importance of shifting focus to research that was locally relevant but internationally applicable. Formal neuroscientific teaching now spans 70 % of the 54 African countries, and there was a conference-wide encouragement for teaching centres to continue boasting investigations by Africans, for Africans.

A broad contribution was made by researchers studying neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s; similarly, by those who work at the intersection of neurosciences and the immune system. Some important buzz terms that permeated the air were “neurodiplomacy”, “FAIR (findable, accessible, interoperable and reusable) brain data” and “neuroethics”.

Conclusion: As a postgraduate researcher, I have days where I feel in limbo: neither entirely a student nor a staff member. At the SONA conference, this felt different. Most people were less phased by using titles or the accolades that follow their name than they were about actively engaging with other attendees. By the final day, I was so diversely besotted with the neurosciences (and the neuroscientists) of the continent that the thought of following just one path to the future was entirely unsatisfying.

In the absence of clarity for the “what” question of research, I found myself re-establishing my answers to how; why and where. As Prof. Njamnshi implored, good science comes not from publishing papers but rather from having strong vision, acting on accomplishable goals, living with passion and creating a purpose. The aims of SONA – and my own – had been surpassed.