SAYAS BLOG

Several things have changed since the last vlog I uploaded in January. For the most part, I have been released from the ‘bench’ doing desktop work and moved more into the practical side of my degree. This has come as a huge relief seeing that it has been many months since I first registered as a PhD student. Maybe let us start from the beginning. As the year commenced, I made my way to Pietermaritzburg to start my contact face-to-face, the component of my PhD instead of the online work we all did during COVID-19. I first arrived and started by re-writing a proposal that I had written and re-submitted it. As months went by I wrote a review paper for submission for publication, which I must say was interesting. This is because I have written a review paper for my master’s work, but as I mentioned in a previous blog, one of the pressures of being a PhD student is wanting to become the best and produce quality work. I struggled for the first few months of the year. One of the struggles was finding the novelty in the study, which was mentally draining since my work is a continuation of the work I did in my master’s. I read a lot of articles on how to find the novelty in your work, and one interesting blog on this topic interpreted this well.  The blog articulates how one can look at the merit of their study even before they publish it in any journal or write a proposal for their PhD. My supervisor’s strategy is to write a proposal and review it for six months, to familiarize oneself with literature to an extent that when you go to the lab, it should be just that. Being in a new place means new rules, and this made me uneasy. I was coming to the lab to see other students who registered with me or even after I start their lab work. But I had to trust my supervisor and the process. In the six months, I did submit my review paper and started going to the lab officially end of August. It has not been bliss; it has been even more difficult than I thought.

Unfortunately, in as much as I had thought I had prior experience of working with the materials (porphyrins), I am also learning a lot through my many failed experiments and giving a scientific explanation as to why they did not work. Growth is never easy, as most people would attest, but it also comes with the satisfaction of more knowledge and discipline. At this point of my PhD, I am working through the synthesis of my starting materials, porphyrins to be specific, and obtaining the purest product from NMR which is one of an organic chemist’s biggest nightmares. Am I satisfied with my pace? Not really, but I am moving and I am patient with it all.

I have also over a couple of months learned about the power of collaboration, which I also spoke about in one of my past blogs. I have come to admit and be open to help, to help, and being helped by my colleagues in terms of everything. I have come to terms with the fact that we don’t often know it all and speaking out loud may help the work to progress. Moreover, to that, it may even ease your mental health. Speaking of which, I am continuing with therapy and it has been amazing, not only do I have new perspectives to look at life but I am slowly becoming an independent thinker and a critical one too. Many people often ask the question of what I wake up to do each morning and my answer is always simple: I wake up and go to the lab. I know it requires more work than it sounds, but the video attached to the blog displays a typical day in my life, which will explain further what I mean.

Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different?

C.S. Lewis

There is no denying that life is busy. In the constant rat race, I often find little time to be mindful since my mind is just… so full. There is a plethora of responsibilities to balance, and I routinely find myself in a repeating loop of getting up, getting ready, going to work, managing the day, coming home, catching up on work, and getting ready for bed. I have to actively focus on integrating mindful activities into this cycle, to be acutely aware of what I’m sensing and feeling in the moment.  If not, I’ll undoubtedly become trapped in this vortex of monotony and never-ending planning, problem-solving, daydreaming, and negative thinking patterns.

However, even with the inclusion of mindfulness practices, the days still seem to pass by far too quickly. I often find myself working nonstop without realizing, or without being able to see the results of my efforts. One of the difficulties in academia, and particularly in research, is that some processes are just beyond our control, and results can take a lot longer than initially anticipated. But when I step back and review the past few months, I see a great deal more than cycles. When I broaden my perspective, I can see how many things have changed. If I delve deeper, I can also say that five years ago, I could only have imagined being where I am now.

“Just remember, 5 years ago, you dreamed about where you are now”

Perhaps the issue is not about cycles, but that I have neglected to acknowledge and celebrate my successes.  When I accomplish a goal or reach a milestone, I immediately begin pursuing the next one. I cannot remember the last time that I managed to break the cycle and set aside some time to acknowledge and appreciate my accomplishments. Can you?

Celebrating success feels wonderful in the here and now, but it also has long-term psychological and psychological effects. Such celebrations not only increase our self-confidence but also release endorphins into our brains, reinforcing emotions of success and increasing the likelihood that we will continue to experience success in the future. It is therefore not a fruitless endeavour to get more attention, but rather a cornerstone of encouraging continuous growth.

I started my celebrations by reviewing my current situation and reflecting on what a typical research week entails. I’ve also been journaling, going for walks with Bella and Doc, and thinking back on the previous six months. During these activities, I’ve considered the aspects of my journey that I’ve cherished, the capabilities I’ve developed, and the difficulties I overcome to get here. I must admit that these reflections have indeed left me more motivated and confident. I also realized that it’s time to celebrate all the recent changes, as progress and success depend on change. I’ll start to celebrate my current successes and use it as fuel for future successes. 

You should do the same.