SAYAS BLOG

 Whatever you put around yourself, you will be the mirror of it. Surround yourself with things you love. Marcel Wanders

One of the most important things to do is to make friends who help you grow and who can be your support system in academia. This is particularly important to me because of how far I have come as a postgraduate student. Let us start from the beginning when I first came to know of the prospects of postgraduate study. Those of you who have been following my posts this year may recall that I told you about how I found out about postgraduate study. I was at home in Lesotho working at a call centre when one of my friends asked me if I would like to do my honours degree in UFS, Bloemfontein. At this stage I did not know what an Honours degree was or what it entailed, but I took a leap of faith because of how persistent he was. He even offered to take my application letters to the university, which he did, and I got the acceptance letter. This has shaped how I wanted to treat people, especially undergraduates. I treat them with kindness and help where I can.

Fast forward to my Masters. I had an interesting journey, where my supervisors let me be what I wanted to be… with their guidance, of course. To some people maybe it would seem like this was neglect, but I saw it as affording me the space to grow. It is through this space and freedom that I started thinking very deeply about the work I did, and made friends in a range of different departments where I knew I would need help. I made friends with people in computational chemistry, biochemistry, microbiology and other departments. My strategy was to network with people who could help where their knowledge intersected with mine.  

I succeeded in making friends, and one significant memory I have is of a post-doctoral fellow who assisted me in my application for my drugs in vitro. I was sitting in the lab one day, thinking that I had to get a distinction for my Master’s degree but I did not know how. I asked my chemistry friends and they advised me that the story I tell through my dissertation is the one that matters, combined with an excellent interpretation of my results. I then thought that this could be easy to do so I wanted more, and then someone told me to take my research further by making an application for it.

I then thought maybe my supervisors would advise me on how to do that but, as I’ve explained, we had an interesting relationship. The second hindrance was that application would be through the biochemistry lab which would need a lot of paperwork and evidence of collaborations. I was excited about the challenge and luckily the postdoctoral fellow I had befriended took me through the right procedure for the antibacterial in vitro studies and we executed them, of course with a go-ahead of my supervisors, which resulted in good results and paper from the work. Making friends in academia starts with putting ego aside and letting oneself be teachable. That is how our brains expand and how we make friends for life.

I learned from this and continually learn that being around the right people at the right time in research is very important. It should not only be about taking, but also lending a hand where you can. I have had so many referrals of job opportunities, conferences, bursaries and support from people with who we were strangers but became friends through research. I have learned many things through my graduate years and one of them is the balance of the soft skills which include relationships and the hard skills. Nothing can be done by one person, and we should continually be open-minded to meet people who will help us grow. Make friends that matter…

“Your network is your net worth.” — Porter Gale

During undergrad, let’s be honest, although it’s important to pass your assignments and attend afternoon lectures, we want to have the FULL university experience. “Hey, are you going for Dr X’s lecture?” “Yeah, neither am I, we’ll get the notes from…”. And that’s how it begins. It’s all too easy to fall into a routine of not attending practicals and lectures, and leaning on hard-working students to provide you with the material (which is of course unfair), BUT who do you blame when you’ve failed the semester? Your friend who lead you astray, or yourself?

Throughout my years at university, I’ve had my share of fun, but when it came to crunch time, I sat down and did the time, irrespective of whether or not my friends were doing the same. And thankfully, I managed to scrape through my first and second years. At the end of the day, I believe that success during your undergrad degree simply depends on you, and your ability to weigh up your priorities. Making memories with friends during these times is what university is for, BUT it’s also a test of decision-making and responsibility.

Post-graduate studies, on the other hand, are a different story. Entering a new lab with a new team is not the same as completing an undergraduate degree with a circle of friends who you sat next to in class, went out partying with, or shared your notes with. It’s actually quite the opposite. Unlike undergrad, it’s not just about “passing” instead, these are our “growing” years, the years when reality catches up to you and you start thinking of life beyond your student number. Your “company” during these years really does affect your success during your postgraduate degrees, and that’s because your “company” includes your lecturers, your supervisors, your seniors, your peers, and your support system, whether you know it or not, the people around you, always have an influence in your life, be it positive or negative.

I’ve had the privileged of being part of 2 different labs at my university, each specialising in a different field (within the same department). Believe me when I say that the type of people in your lab is vital in determining how smooth sailing your academic journey will be. Fortunately for me, this far, I’ve had wonderful experiences in both labs.

It gets tough. When you are stuck doing an experiment that never seems to work, your supervisor is continuously breathing down your neck, or the most important machine in your lab is backing up, you need those friends around you. And yes, you can come home and rant to your family about your day/life, like I’ve done countless times, but the fact is, that they just won’t understand why you’re frustrated about your bad RNA integrity, or that your cells that are choosing to not grow well, or perhaps even the frustration you’re having time and time again with the key that you’ve got to struggle with to open your lab door. But there are people who can understand your pain: your lab peers, the ones who help you kick the door open.

Of course, I hear horror stories from my friends who don’t share the same sentiments as me. Their stories always end with, “I can’t wait to get out of here, so I don’t have to see him/her/them.” These stories have helped me to realise the power that your academic company has on your degree. Excluding the role that a supervisor adds to this, your academic peer group should be your source of comfort, laughter, and support, especially after a rough day.

Don’t get me wrong, my academic circle isn’t all birds and butterflies, but it’s definitely a circle that I appreciate and look forward to seeing every day. However, it did require some effort on my part as well. Being new in a lab comes with its challenges, which I have discussed in a previous blog, but it’s always up to YOU to decide how you approach the challenge. You can be the quiet, reserved kid forever (totally fine), or you could put yourself out there, your original, authentic, beautiful self. Ask the “silly” questions, annoy the senior PhD students, and build those connections, because it can completely change your experience in academia.

To all my friends that are struggling with peers in academia, take a breath and always remember, ONLY YOU can change your path. Put yourself out there, be friendly, be unapologetically you, and you might just build amazing friendships that will remain with you and make your academic journey fun and memorable. And if you’re on the other side, be kind. Be kind to the new kids, to the new supervisor, the kid who broke the machine, or the one who ruined your experiment. It only takes a few moments of kindness to build a connection.

Life as an academic can be brutal, but with peers by your side, we can all cry together 😊

P.S. Shoutout to GH519, truly smart, kind (for the most part!) and patient people.