Posted on by ijeomaopara

Like Sand Through the Hourglass And Other Amusing Realisations

Here we are, six months later…what has changed?  

Well… life has been a rollercoaster OF NOTE.  

The past six months have felt like three years almost, as I’ve been evolving rapidly without so much of a chance to recalibrate authentically. Academically, things have been progressing in an interesting way; I presented at two international conferences in June, and have had some of the most amazing networking opportunities within my field. The first conference I attended was the London School of Economics Media Futures Conference, where I presented parts of a working chapter. The second one was hosted by the Stellenbosch Business School on Gender, Work and Organisation, and I co-facilitated a workshop on feminist activism in the academy with my supervisor Professor Amanda Gouws. On paper, it feels like I’m doing the right things to make sure my academic career is on track, but I can’t help but feel like there is some level of stagnancy that’s preventing me from pushing myself like I normally do.  

My personal life has also been topsy-turvy, and I have been going through the motions of true grief for the first time in the 28 years of my life. The phrase ‘nothing lasts forever’ has taken on a completely different meaning, as losing people is something that is always hard to deal with. It’s also part of the reason why my vlog this month has taken on a somewhat abstract format, where I focused more on showing what the days in my life have looked like recently, as opposed to a linear, cookie-cutter ‘day in my life’.

For some reason, it felt disingenuous to set up my camera, press record and pretend to wake up and put together a routine that seemed void of flaws. My days really have felt like a case of jumping across different universes, almost like that movie Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022).To be completely honest, my ethics application has been a source of frustration since the beginning of the year, impacting my creative flow. While I understand the importance of due process and acknowledge the validity of concerns, it’s led me to question the worthiness of pursuing my research in the first place. Which really sucks.  

However, I’ve taken steps to address this. I’ve recently gained a mentor from the African Feminist Initiative at UPenn, Professor Tarez Graban. Our first session together was incredibly affirming, reigniting my belief in the value of my work. Naturally, I have the support of my supervisor and co-supervisor. Still, without a clear sense of direction in my work, it becomes difficult to communicate expectations if I am in a period of struggling with where to draw strength from. At the end of the day, this PhD will be completed. Every day that brings me closer to the finish line may not look the same, but it’s part of the bigger picture. And we’re never alone in this journey, always supported by those around us. 

Almost there.  

Posted on by johanne_marais

Master the Science of Making Progress: A Day in my Life

I read a book this year called Cortex and Mind. I often draw on a thought from that book, which is remarkably applicable to both neuroscience and society. Joaquín Fuster says: “Networks and knowledge are open-ended. Never in the life of the individual do they cease to grow or to be otherwise modified…” I think this statement holds true for how life is founded on networks growing and communities encouraging interpersonal change. In a recent panel discussion, my friend and colleague Ursula Mariani reminded us that we are allowed to change our opinions; to say “I said this, but I no longer think that way.”

At this point in the year, if you have been following my blogs throughout 2023, you’d likely have a well-curated mental construction of who I am. If you recall my blog about winter, you may have gathered that I am an early riser; an advocate for gentle adaptations; and that I’m a neuroscientist researching sleep. Well, in my Spring edition of the Day in My Life vlog, you will encounter evidence of this and (visually) a better image of me. There are many close-ups, and many snippets of my cat Frosty.

My top priority every day is clear: serve King Frosty, the King of Everything. 

Second to that, a typical week has a fair degree of structure. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I have a lot of energy and excitement for the tasks that I get to do. I often commit to the emotionally and cognitively demanding tasks on those days: data handling; writing; research; planning the week’s work (and play) … These are often full days on campus, and I then spend the evenings in the Wits Sleep Lab.

Behold my dehydrated self!

Tuesdays are often SASSH membership capturing days; general administrative catch-up on emails and prepping for Thursday supervisor meetings. Thursdays invite calm, mid-week rejuvenation in the form of a morning meditation offered at the School of Physiology for staff and students. Then, at 09h00 I have my weekly meeting with my supervisors. I try to schedule all other meetings that arise for Thursdays too, since I am comfortable to be a bit more passively present in engagements than absent-minded in solo tasks. At this point in the week (though I am often able to shake things off), I can feel that my sleep debt is quite strong and my capacity to human effectively is tapering. I try go home early and assume the horizontal position imminently upon my return to the haven. 

Otherwise, what I outlined in my first vlog as a typical plan of action is mostly the same: breathe deeply; move often; rest, digest, invest.

I think my greatest lesson learned as an MSc student so far is that what we study is not what we do nor who we are. It’s increasingly apparent to me that this is where academia previously slurped me into the vortex of productivity over passion. I’m still learning how to build a house, but I have a much better idea of how I’d like to live in it.