It’s that wonderful time of the year…

It is Christmas time. Someone said a PhD student is not hard to shop for – just give them “time, patience, and steady job prospects”. And I like that very much. It is also that time of the year where we write Christmas cards to our family, friends and colleagues. “Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year…” In lieu of my last blog here, I am writing a thank you note / Christmas letter to everyone remotely related to my PhD experience, including my future self.

My family

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With my youngest, he better not ask for co-authorship.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Your presence this year has reminded me that this journey is not mine alone, that other people have a stake in it too. I have loved simplifying my thesis in one sentence, literally explaining to a 6 year-old. Studying when you are around has trained me to be disciplined with my time; to focus on doing the meaningful stuff and taking the necessary breaks. Taking a break in the day to cook for us, and taking walks with you has been all the therapy I need. You are an important part of my identity, one that threatened to be consumed wholly by “being a PhD student”.

 

My parents/brothers and sisters (including in-laws)

Thank you for caring about my self-determination, and asking often, “how is school going?”, and “when do you finish?” Yes, as PhD students we often don’t like hearing these questions; so thank you for understanding and accepting the short and simple answers of  “it’s going” and “soon”. I really appreciate your big dreams for me; how you think I will be able to get any job I want as soon as I complete this degree. I am often too tired to discuss the reality, and I would rather have the positive affirmations.  You are a big part of my positive outlook on my future.

My supervisors

Thank you for being reliable, consistent and open about your own challenges and the nature of academia. Seeing you balance your own work and still giving me prompt and constructive feedback on my project is inspiring to me. I hardly have enough time for the PhD — and it is all I do — so I don’t know how you do all you do. I feel confident that in the next year we can build on the positive and productive momentum we have created, in order for me to submit my thesis. I will need what you have always provided in the past, which is your experience, wisdom and knowledge. I have learned so much from you in the past three years that I will keep with me when I become a supervisor too.

My PhD friends and colleagues

Thank you for the laughs and the inside jokes this year. Thank you for all the personal stories you have told me, and for making me comfortable to tell mine. It has been amazing the number of stories we could tell each other over lunch or dinner between intense, isolated work sessions. I was happy to be your springboard for ideas as you were mine. Thanks for nodding enthusiastically as I ranted on and on about my project and giving advice the best way you could J Thank you for reciprocally taking my advice as well, even going as far as calling it “great advice, thank you!” 🙂 We make each other feel and do better.

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Some PhD colleagues and friends at a recent writing retreat.

 

My school and funding body

Thank you for the financial and other support that enables me to dedicate all my time to this PhD. We complain it is not enough but even CEOs of Fortune 500 companies think they deserve more. And those guys get a lot; they categorically don’t deserve more. I digress. Thank you for always lending an ear to the ways in which students could feel more supported, and creating tools to ensure that it happens. Thank you for the analysis software licences, the retreats, the conferences, the journal clubs, the support for extra coursework you name it. Thank you for showing your compassion to starving students on campus – through the food donation drive and feeding schemes for the general student body. And thank you for being full of approachable world-class professors/lecturers who are willing to talk to you about your project and listen to your challenges even though they are not even your supervisors. Thank you to the university at large for the library resources I can access off campus and the librarians who are always online, ready to chat!

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With some PhD colleagues, supervisors, policymakers and funders at a recent conference

 

 

Government and the bodies that be

Thank you for your recognition of research as an essential part of the development of South Africa. Thank you for your subsequent endeavours to support students, particularly those from disadvantaged backgrounds.  Thank you for all efforts to make sure that you meet the demand for higher education in this country given the unique needs of this nation and the lack of resources we contend with. Thank you for any effort to ensure that resources are therefore not wasted but invested in the diverse and brilliant minds of this nation, from kindergarten to tenure. Thank you for any effort (now and/or future) to lend an ear to students and experts on how to positively transform higher education in South Africa to be an empowering space for students, their families and society in general.

The Universe

Thank you for the positive vibez… ha ha.

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Source: Unsplash

 

 

My future self

I have ended this year on a positive note, which is surprising because it has probably been the most challenging of my adult life.  This blog post has been an exercise in zeroing in on the positives all around me.  It is an exercise of self-preservation that is necessary to keep a balanced perspective on things. It’s easy for the brain to latch onto negative things and let those propel us to action or worse: inaction.  In contrast, the positive gifts all around us can provide the leverage to act in positive ways and do what is beneficial for ourselves and others. 2019 will be hard, with the anxiety to finish and to plan the next steps. Use anything positive around you, no matter how small, to cope. And just like that the year will be over and you will be writing a letter to your 2020 self.

My PhD Sunday plate of experiences…

In the South African township where I grew up we have a special meal on Sundays. It’s called “Seven colours”, or the Sunday plate. You will have rice, butternut, beetroot salad, a coleslaw, chakalaka, chicken or meat, French beans, spinach or cabbage…a mish-mash of foods and beautiful colours on your plate. Something you don’t see for the rest of the week, where meals are simple and consist mainly of pap (maize meal) with a side of vegetables or meat.  I thought today I would give you my seven colours of my PhD experience… It is a mish-mash of experiences/revelations I have had in this journey of PhD so far. Next year I will be in fourth year, and I thought this is an opportune time to take stock of the last three years.

1.     On a scale of one to ten…

I was speaking recently with my sister-in-law regarding her interest in doing a PhD. And it brought me back to my inaugural blog, What brings you here? I am always interested in people’s motivations for doing a PhD so I asked her about that. Turns out she is very well invested in her area of knowledge, and seems like the type of person who would actually enjoy exploring ideas more. She asked the basic question – do you think it is a good idea if I did a PhD? It was almost like, on a scale of one to ten, would you recommend a PhD? And my first instinct was, “Absolutely!” This surprised me because it wasn’t a particularly positive day in PhD land.  I still had the perspective of how this process is making me grow made me happy. It is the nature of the beast to have good and bad days because a PhD is life.

2.     15 drafts, one paper…should I give up?

Even if you have published before, your next paper can be a nightmare. I’ve changed my mind on this paper I am currently writing a number of times. It didn’t help that a conference opportunity came along and I, again, shifted my angle on it. So, a few months later (don’t worry, I have been doing other things), I think I finally have a solid draft. On the 15th try. Well I guess it doesn’t matter, because I have something I am happy with at the end of the day, no? We will see what reviewer 2 says about that. The point is, don’t give up. Just constantly improve.

3.     Technology is nice…but use your common sense

As a PhD student, you come across a plethora of tools for project management, writing, data analysis etc. I remember one time in particular discussing an analysis tool with one of the mentors in our department. There are all these neat data analysis tools out there! But these tools don’t do the thinking for you. And on top of that, the machines sometimes just don’t have enough information to give you valuable output. It is like the GPS that sent me in circles for eight minutes, to a building that was right across the street. But it was the first time in that country, I was there for a conference, and I trusted the machine more than my common sense — to the point of not believing my eyes. So sometimes trust your instincts, and always use your brain to interpret the outcomes, no matter what the sophisticated programs say.

4.     Writing retreats are the best thing money can buy.

To every supervisor out there, if you can afford it, or have the necessary connections, take your students on writing retreats. Two words for how writing retreats work: Mental space. Even if your student comes into the office every day, a writing retreat affords mental space in a way that they haven’t experienced before. I pray that they are the norm at every university in South Africa. A writing retreat is a space where you don’t worry about anything other than your writing. Someone else makes you tea, and food, and there are no errands. A week of writing can accomplish more than a month of trying to write. It’s made more enjoyable by the presence of your peers, who you meet over meals and tea, and informally discuss your experiences. Have a laugh, go back to your books. A lot of down, quiet time – in a collegial atmosphere. I have a sneaky suspicion that scholarship was always meant to be this way.

5.     When your proposal was your best work.

As it currently stands, my proposal is my best work in this entire three-year PhD process. (It will be topped by the thesis soon hopefully). But it is clear to me now why I took almost a year developing it. I read widely…I haven’t done that much reading since. My ideas were consolidated and my plan was solid. When I flail, I always go back to the proposal to ground me. In my mind, my ideas were supposed to get better with time. The proposal was supposed to be something I did just to get into the program and just to get started. But it has become my whole blueprint and my foundation. This week I am attending a writing retreat (high five emoji) and the one thing that has unlocked all of my creativity was going back to my read a section of my proposal. Taking stock of what I have managed to implement and most importantly, the rationale for my entire thesis. I am reading old papers that I haven’t read in three years. All this to say, yes to writing retreats 😉

6.     Surround yourself with inspiring people… People who think their PhD time was the best time.

Talk often to people who have gone through the PhD,  for perspective. I realize how important it is to talk to people who see their whole PhD journey as a positive experience. Because they have faced challenges as well, and can tell you about them. But they seem to focus on the good stuff. Because even when we talk about heavy issues such as mental health in academia, they have a way of showing you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Those people tend to be solution oriented, and they motivate you to fight hard to design a positive experience for yourself. And sometimes that means shutting out contrary voices.

7.     Friendships and the PhD

This has been an interesting one. I have successfully retained my old friendships — but only those that don’t need a lot of time and constant engagement to be sustained. I have formed new friendships within the PhD environment. And you share with these people some very personal things, at least as far as they affect your work. And yet, these friendships somehow don’t work outside of the PhD environment. I guess it is the same idea as “work friends”. And these friendships have a very useful and important place in our lives. They are in the arsenal of the little things that help you go through the PhD.

Well there you have it! My seven colours of delicious PhD-esque experiences and reflections. Hope you enjoyed and it inspired you to reflect on your own experience, especially if you have been on this journey for a while.