The Climb!

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Ever heard of the Chinese phrase, “Outside of this mountain that you’ve marveled at or climbed, there’s a taller one waiting for you somewhere”? If you have, then you can most certainly relate to this blog post. That saying seems to be resonating through me as I write this blog entry. It makes me think about the different objectives that we pursue, not just in research but also life: it’s almost like life is this never-ending hike, with hill after hill after hill that we need to climb if we want to reach the top of the final mountain. Just like Miley Cyrus says in her song, The Climb. “There’s always gonna be another mountain, I’m always gonna want to make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle, sometimes I’m going to have to lose, it’s not about how fast I get there, it’s not about what’s waiting on the other side, it’s the climb”.

Personally, the past few weeks have been filled with incredible triumphs (see my previous blog). I’ve just conquered the peak of data collection and analysis for my MSc. Unfortunately, there isn’t time to relax and bask in my glory and I’m sitting in the shadow of another looming mountain.  That latest mountain is reporting, discussing, concluding and formatting my dissertation.

Few scientists choose this career because they like writing and communicating…. and I guess that makes me a typical scientist. I have been somewhat struggling with writing up my dissertation. I do believe that the brisk pace that I have been working at might just have an effect on that struggle.

Being the perfectionist that I am, I feel like there is a need to make amends for not submitting my dissertation last year. One way of doing that was to work on my document and submit it as soon as possible. That’s all well and good, but I reckon that one thing that I did not consider was that writing up in a hurry would affect the quality of my work. “It’s not about how fast I get there, it’s not about what’s waiting on the other side, it’s the climb.” So it means the process of writing up is more important than just submitting.

You’d think that after years of listening to those lines, they would actually mean something to me by now!

Only after many attempts to submit my chapters to my supervisor and getting them back with lots of unpleasant red ink, have I finally decided to slow down, to pause and think about what I want to do before doing it. Because when I keep rushing rushing rushing to just put something – anything – on paper for her, I lose sight of my real goal; I’m getting somewhat lost. And I don’t want to keep wandering aimlessly, after all.

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Just had a flashback of a book called “Think Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman that I bought a few months back. I haven’t finished it by the way, but I’ve read enough of it to grasp the concepts echoing through the book. Sometimes you have to make fast and instinctive decisions and, sometimes, you have to be reflective and more deliberative in your approach. The dark tunnel phase of my research has passed, the phase where had to move fast and instinctively. Now I need to slow down and be more purposeful in my approach, I need to read the results, be one with them and discuss them as they are.

Easier said than done though, right? Like I said in my earlier blog, not a lot of work has been done on Moringa oleifera seeds and egg laying chickens. This too is a mountain that I have to move. I guess it’s called “Masters” for a reason. It’s not about just feeding chickens and getting eggs but also about the scientific consequences of that. Because no matter how solid your research may be, if you don’t publish it, don’t grapple with the methods and conclusions yourself, then it’s as good as never having being done. In the scientific world, it doesn’t exist.

I’m a little bit of a twitter fan, so whilst I was there, minding other people’s business, I saw a post shared by one of my fellow student, Nobuhle Sharon Lungu. The post said, “We Screenshot_2016-06-03-20-16-19win every day but we don’t appreciate, we only celebrate when we win big”.

I hope this blog will change this mindset; you must celebrate every victory, every small mountain top that you reach. I had to take joy in finishing data collection, or else I would not have had energy for this current slog. So, yes, every peak you reach, celebrate it — even if you think it’s not too high; because it is those small hills that make us stronger to fight and reach the ultimate peak.

Light @ the end of the tunnel!

In order to really understand the intensity of the light, I would have to paint you a portrait of where I have been, to where I am currently with regards  to my MSc research.  This blog entry reminds me a lot of a song that I like to sing whenever I am in a good mood; “I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all the obstacles in my way. Here is the rainbow I have been waiting for, it’s going to be a bright, bright, sun-shiny day”. Well in my case, it’s going to be a bright, bright tunnel end. For the last two and a half years, I have been on a long, often dark journey.

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http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/07/the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel/

 

If that journey was to have a sound track, I think it would be “Thunderstruck by AC/DC”.  My journey has had a lot of ups and downs that I would say were filled primarily with downs than ups. Normally, I enjoy going to theme parks for the roller coaster ride but this roller coaster which is my MSc research was different. My past blogs have been mostly about all the things that I have been through and how hard I’ve had to work and struggle just to get my trials going.

This blog is a little bit different, this blog is about nearing the end of my MSc degree, the end of the dark tunnel with a bright light at the end. It’s about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as my bright future, instead of a train coming to knock all my hard work off the rails, as well as using support structures in your life as a coping mechanism.

Keep your head up. Keep fighting. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, and your struggles only make you better in the end
http://quotesgram.com/keep-up-the-fight-quotes/

The obstacle that has been standing in my way from submitting my dissertation was the fatty acid profile (egg yolk) samples that I had sent to the Agricultural Research Council Lab for profiling. I have to sincerely thank them for their quick turn over time because fatty acid profile analysis normally takes forever and a day. To be honest, my impatient side was starting to get the better of me. At times, the desire to succeed does force us to make irrational decisions that we later regret in life, all in the name of progress. Thank God it never came to that though (Chuckles). So I received the data a few weeks back and since then, I have managed to put the data on Excel, run it using the SAS Procedure, tabulated and finally discussed the obtained results.

The results were not what I originally hypothesised in my proposal. There is no doubt chemically, that Moringa oleifera seeds are exceptional but the results obtained were not at all positive. Moringa oleifera seed meal in my study decreased feed intake and body weights of chickens and did not improve the omega 3, 6 and 9 fatty acids in egg yolks. This was a horribly negative result from my perspective.

But was “negative” really negative?

I was once invited by Caradee Wright to speak at one of her “High School Spaza Science Club” and on our way there, we ended up talking about cancer research. I felt that it was dangerous conducting research as a post graduate on Cancer and other hard to treat diseases because the inability to find a cure would mean your research would’ve failed to produce positive results. She said “Any result in research is a positive result”. At first I was a little puzzled but later it made sense. My “negative” results may not be what i had hypothesised but they were still positive. Having those results meant that no one will ever research this again because now information is available in literature. In the future, the next time a researcher thinks of using these seeds in layers, they will be able to find information (my study!) advising them against that.

Through the dark times in my life, I have always been lucky to have coping mechanisms that assisted me in navigating my way through the dark tunnels of life. Having important individuals travelling with you through the dark times of your life is one of the coping mechanisms. My supervisors, my friends, my family and my girl friend have always been part of that support structure. Any great person will tell you that there are times in life where you doubt yourself, times when you feel like giving up would be easier than to continue.Having such people in your life is awesome, people who will remind you of your talent, your abilities and why you decided to embark on that journey in the first place.

So what’s the bottom line? Well the bottom line is that you will struggle in life, your life

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https://za.pinterest.com/alinekd/amazing-wise-quotes/

will have ups and downs, maybe more downs than ups and you will virtually travel under pitch black tunnels but if you have a rigid support structure and also use all the acquired knowledge and assistance from all the troubles that you faced to navigate those dark tunnels then you will be fine. It will be scary at first but just like me, your tunnel will have a light at the end if you work hard and believe in yourself in whatever you do.