SAYAS BLOG

How many of us appreciate being criticized for our work?

One of the best lessons I have learned through my postgraduate years is to be able to absorb criticism and feedback and appreciate the positive side of it. I did not always have this appreciation; it did not start out as a positive adventure at all. I started out as a naïve and afraid student and received detailed feedback thinking that maybe people did not like me or that they wanted to prove that I am not intelligent.

Fortunately, I had supervisors during my Masters who honed my presentation skills and removed my ‘stage fright’ by allowing me to attend many conferences and symposiums. During this time, I learned a lot about myself and how feedback improved my academic skills. I remember the first time we had our presentation in the Polymer/Organic group, one of our senior postgraduate students was presenting and the supervisors were very critical, and I thought to myself ‘I hope when my turn comes, I do not cry’.  As weeks went by, I realized that the supervisors were hard on all of us, not just on one person, and that is when I realized that it is to train us and not belittle us. Today, when I give a presentation and I am not criticized or asked the hard questions, I know that people did not comprehend what I said, or it was not interesting enough for them to think critically about it.

One of the most discouraging things is to receive negative feedback for a paper that you are trying to publish. Most of us in academia have experienced this. Before the submission, there is a lot of pressure from yourself or from your supervisors and peers. Then unfortunately you often get negative feedback from the reviewers. How does one even overcome that? The first rejections may be a large blow, but the reality is there might be several rejections before the article is accepted for publication.

I had a conversation with one of my friends earlier this year, whose paper had been rejected three times and from these conversations, I learned a few things.

• The rejections normally come with comments which help one to write or present better.
• Their rejection is not a reflection of who you are or the type of person you are, it is purely commentary on a piece of written work
• Dust yourself up, cry if you have to, and do it all over again. Send it to another journal, and put your work out.
• The more you get rejected the better you get at writing and improving your work.
• You learn and read from the comments articulated in each section.

This also happens when we are doing writing outside of the scientific space. A few months ago, I submitted a blog to our editor Jen. I had read articles on what I had written and thought I had done very well. Just a few days after submission I received feedback from her. I was on my way to heat food in the microwave when I heard a beep on my phone, I scanned the message and I panicked. The 30 seconds I heated the food, thoughts flooded my mind, ‘does she not like me, does she think I’m a bad writer, she doesn’t find me worthy does she?’ I then sat myself down and calmed myself to look at the piece critically. I felt disappointed in myself for thinking in my moment of panic that she hated me because, with the reviews she gave, she also advised, she showed me the way and I am thankful for that. And with the corrected piece I could see my improvement. One of the messages she gave was, ‘The best way to start writing on scientific topics is to work from your area of expertise.’ I will take that forever because when I did write my next piece, it came out of passion and was easier to write.

We just need to learn to stop over-personalizing the critiques and find what is good in them. I am not saying I am immune to being criticized, but I appreciate being assisted and being told if I am wrong or redirected to the right path. Maybe our rationality is thwarted by our emotions. When we hear criticism, our instinct is to dismiss it. Then, we put up a defense and sometimes even get irritated. Although this is understandable, it works against us. Everything that benefits us should be embraced, rationally speaking.

‘He who can’t take constructive criticism is not ready to grow’- Royalelradin

“I’m so late!” “I have to be at the office at 9am” “My lunch break ends in 10 minutes, let’s hurry up!”. Timelines are the backbones of life. We always seem to be chasing time, trying to catch up on the day’s activities. These timelines keep us in line and it’s important to adhere to them, EXCEPT for your personal timeline, the one that reflects your goals, milestones and growth.

Personal timelines don’t really exist, yet somehow, we’re convinced that we’re getting “too old for…” or “too old to start…”. Who is keeping track? Is there someone out there keeping a tab on each and everyone one of us? Or perhaps comparing our journeys, “Tee started reading at the age of 4 years, but Jay started at 3 years 11 months, so Jay is in the lead!”. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? And although it does, YOU still do it. You look in the mirror and say, “She’s my age yet she’s already married with 2 kids”, or perhaps, “She’s my age and she’s already achieved most of her career goals” and we start to convince ourselves that “time is running out”.

If you’ve read my previous blog post, you already know who I’m going to blame for this concept of life’s timelines: SOCIETY (duh!). But this time it’s more than just society, it’s about our friendship circles, the people who we live with and love, and the type of behaviour and environment that we’re exposed to. Different families have different expectations of their relatives. For example, some families expect their daughters to be married straight after graduation (high school or university), while others expect them to move out of the house by 21 and hold a stable job. But at the end of the day, life happens, and this affects your personal timeline. And since we all don’t live the same life, we cannot expect to have the same timeline.

YOUR timeline doesn’t have to coincide with THEIR timeline. Look at me, I’m a 25 old, who is still studying towards a degree, with no actual job experience, living at home with my parents, and yes, I am eating their food and driving their car. It seems like I am way off my timeline, people around this age are now getting promotions, getting married, having kids, taking luxury vacations, or even relocating to other countries. Here I am, still enjoying the fruits of my parents’ labour (relax, they love it, and they love having me in their house!).

That’s the thing about timelines. Although it’s so easy to compare yourself to what YOU think life should be like at a certain age, you miss out on some of the gems that you have/experienced at this age that most people haven’t. For example, I may be 25 and studying, but I’m also 25 with 3 degrees, studying towards my 4^th, I’m also 25 with almost 5 years of scientific research experience. I’m also 25 with no debt. I’m also a 25-year-old who works with cancer drugs and cells. I’m also a 25-year-old…. And the list can go on.

This applies to almost every facet of life, whether it’s career, love, marriage, opportunity or perhaps something else. Your timeline shouldn’t be looked at with disappointment it should be looked at with hope. For example, instead of feeling down that you’re 28 and still trying to figure out your career path, you should feel hopeful that you’ve had years of experience with skills that can be used as stepping stones in your next career move, tell me who else has all those valuable skills? I know of several people who did not follow society’s timeline, yet they are just as or even more successful than those who did. Some of them took longer to get their first job or degree, but are now content and well off, while some of them took much longer to find the right partner, but are now happily married.

Personal timelines do not exist. Take your time and enjoy the experience you’re having, most likely, you’ll still end up at the same, if not a better place than you thought. Be happy for those who are “on-track” without feeling sorry for yourself. At the end of the day, whether you’re ahead of the team, or the last one running, there will always be someone cheering you on and someone who “boos” you. Your only focus should be on making it to the finish line, it’s not a timed race.