The other side of being a PhD student

Being a PhD student is an opportunity that can change one’s life for the better, however, it is no walk in the park. There are countless problems that PhD students come across, some very unique to each candidates project and some are quite universal, for example, the challenge of being financially frustrated. Before I became a PhD student I was not aware of the financial challenges and limitations that can exist in the 3 years of perusing a PhD because no one I knew had faced the challenge I have come to face in my PhD journey or rather no one has ever spoken to me about such a challenge. I was aware of other “mountains to climb”  such as expensive equipment, unreasonable supervisors and the long wait for ethical applications approval but running out of money was not one of the mountains I anticipated I would have to climb.

How my financial problems began                

In 2015 and 2016 the university students in South Africa embarked on the fees must fall campaign. The goals of the movement were to stop increases in student fees as well as to increase government funding of university course I too was in full support of the campaign. What I did not anticipate was how this action was going to affect me as a PhD student. In 2017 I applied for the National Research Fund (NRF) Free Standing Bursary and I received it which meant that I was able to register for my PhD In 2018. Previously NRF awarded students R120 000 for a PhD study but because of the fees must fall campaign (this was the explanation I received from an NRF consultant I spoke when I wanted to understand why the funding had been reduced) the bursary fund had been cut down by 30 % so the bursary was reduced to R70 000. This was obviously a shock to me. In my first year, I was obviously very determined and I said to myself “well I will make it work”. However, during my first year, I did not have to buy equipment, travel and budget for data collection activities, therefore “making it work” was not much of a tight financial squeeze.

October blog 1Now that I am in my second year I am realizing how little this amount of money is because actually, it has run out literally between rent, food and other expenses including transport. To fill this financial gap  I now depend on my father and my twin sister for everyday living expenses. Between food and taxi fare their financial assistance takes me through half the month. Fortunately, I also have a blogging contract with SAYAS where I can earn R250 at the end of every month, which I have to spend really carefully to get me to the next month.  I sometimes wonder how other candidates in my situation who do not have a support system like mine are coping. I never anticipated that my biggest concerns would be whether or not the food I have will last me the entire month or how will I be able to afford accommodation come January 2020. Agreed a PhD is not all about money and bursaries and one’s reasons to do a PhD should not be solely based on getting “bursary money”. However, once you have made up your mind that you will embark on a PhD having money to support you throughout your journey does make easier and also makes it easier to focus and be creative about your work the opposite is quite frustrating. 

Often students who are uncertain about whether they should embark on PhD studies or not ask what advice I can give them before deciding whether they want to do a  PhD or not and I usually give the following advice.

Do not be shy to look for funding  

Firstly, make sure you secure enough funding to carry you through your PhD. My mistake was assuming that I would have enough money and little did I know that funding was going to be cut by 30 %.  Make sure you are certain of the details of the funding so that you avoid having to look for a side hustle just to keep afloat during your PhD studies. I have actually lost count of many bursaries I have applied for, potential sponsors, individuals, companies, deans of faculties, you name them, I have emailed or called them looking for additional funding and I won’t stop until I get it because I am determined to complete my studies.

Do not be afraid nor ashamed to hustle

October blog 3I have decided to look for a part-time job in order to finance my data collection after realizing that the bursary money will not carry me through the entire process. Truth is, working towards a PhD does not really change anything nor does it make a person special. I have spoken to people who even after completing their PhD’s have had to go from one office to another begging to do even the most minimal of jobs just so they can afford to buy food at the end of the month. That was when I learnt that the title “DR” does not exempt me from looking for work anywhere where I can find it just to feed myself.  If you find yourself having to sell and bake muffins do not be shy if it pays the bills do not be ashamed of your hustle. The most important lesson I have learned from all of this is sometimes you just have to put your pride aside and feed yourself regardless of the title you might have or might be working towards.

Last but not least

Be certain of your reasons of why you want a PhD because, in times of difficulty where you have to choose to forgo certain needs because you must have enough transport money for the month or there is certain equipment you must buy, the initial reason for you to want to pursue a PhD will keep you going.

It’s that wonderful time of the year…

It is Christmas time. Someone said a PhD student is not hard to shop for – just give them “time, patience, and steady job prospects”. And I like that very much. It is also that time of the year where we write Christmas cards to our family, friends and colleagues. “Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year…” In lieu of my last blog here, I am writing a thank you note / Christmas letter to everyone remotely related to my PhD experience, including my future self.

My family

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With my youngest, he better not ask for co-authorship.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Your presence this year has reminded me that this journey is not mine alone, that other people have a stake in it too. I have loved simplifying my thesis in one sentence, literally explaining to a 6 year-old. Studying when you are around has trained me to be disciplined with my time; to focus on doing the meaningful stuff and taking the necessary breaks. Taking a break in the day to cook for us, and taking walks with you has been all the therapy I need. You are an important part of my identity, one that threatened to be consumed wholly by “being a PhD student”.

 

My parents/brothers and sisters (including in-laws)

Thank you for caring about my self-determination, and asking often, “how is school going?”, and “when do you finish?” Yes, as PhD students we often don’t like hearing these questions; so thank you for understanding and accepting the short and simple answers of  “it’s going” and “soon”. I really appreciate your big dreams for me; how you think I will be able to get any job I want as soon as I complete this degree. I am often too tired to discuss the reality, and I would rather have the positive affirmations.  You are a big part of my positive outlook on my future.

My supervisors

Thank you for being reliable, consistent and open about your own challenges and the nature of academia. Seeing you balance your own work and still giving me prompt and constructive feedback on my project is inspiring to me. I hardly have enough time for the PhD — and it is all I do — so I don’t know how you do all you do. I feel confident that in the next year we can build on the positive and productive momentum we have created, in order for me to submit my thesis. I will need what you have always provided in the past, which is your experience, wisdom and knowledge. I have learned so much from you in the past three years that I will keep with me when I become a supervisor too.

My PhD friends and colleagues

Thank you for the laughs and the inside jokes this year. Thank you for all the personal stories you have told me, and for making me comfortable to tell mine. It has been amazing the number of stories we could tell each other over lunch or dinner between intense, isolated work sessions. I was happy to be your springboard for ideas as you were mine. Thanks for nodding enthusiastically as I ranted on and on about my project and giving advice the best way you could J Thank you for reciprocally taking my advice as well, even going as far as calling it “great advice, thank you!” 🙂 We make each other feel and do better.

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Some PhD colleagues and friends at a recent writing retreat.

 

My school and funding body

Thank you for the financial and other support that enables me to dedicate all my time to this PhD. We complain it is not enough but even CEOs of Fortune 500 companies think they deserve more. And those guys get a lot; they categorically don’t deserve more. I digress. Thank you for always lending an ear to the ways in which students could feel more supported, and creating tools to ensure that it happens. Thank you for the analysis software licences, the retreats, the conferences, the journal clubs, the support for extra coursework you name it. Thank you for showing your compassion to starving students on campus – through the food donation drive and feeding schemes for the general student body. And thank you for being full of approachable world-class professors/lecturers who are willing to talk to you about your project and listen to your challenges even though they are not even your supervisors. Thank you to the university at large for the library resources I can access off campus and the librarians who are always online, ready to chat!

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With some PhD colleagues, supervisors, policymakers and funders at a recent conference

 

 

Government and the bodies that be

Thank you for your recognition of research as an essential part of the development of South Africa. Thank you for your subsequent endeavours to support students, particularly those from disadvantaged backgrounds.  Thank you for all efforts to make sure that you meet the demand for higher education in this country given the unique needs of this nation and the lack of resources we contend with. Thank you for any effort to ensure that resources are therefore not wasted but invested in the diverse and brilliant minds of this nation, from kindergarten to tenure. Thank you for any effort (now and/or future) to lend an ear to students and experts on how to positively transform higher education in South Africa to be an empowering space for students, their families and society in general.

The Universe

Thank you for the positive vibez… ha ha.

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Source: Unsplash

 

 

My future self

I have ended this year on a positive note, which is surprising because it has probably been the most challenging of my adult life.  This blog post has been an exercise in zeroing in on the positives all around me.  It is an exercise of self-preservation that is necessary to keep a balanced perspective on things. It’s easy for the brain to latch onto negative things and let those propel us to action or worse: inaction.  In contrast, the positive gifts all around us can provide the leverage to act in positive ways and do what is beneficial for ourselves and others. 2019 will be hard, with the anxiety to finish and to plan the next steps. Use anything positive around you, no matter how small, to cope. And just like that the year will be over and you will be writing a letter to your 2020 self.